Down through the ages, men have forsaken their possessions, ideals, and nobility for lust.  The David who slew the mighty giant was felled by Bathsheba; Antony’s heart was enslaved to Cleopatra.  The long list of horny toads continues until the present day.  It includes such clods as former New York Governor Spitzer, actor Charlie Sheen, and the Uncrowned King of All Cheaters, Tiger Woods.

When harmless flirtations grow into uncontrollable desires, a man’s logic flies out the window, leaving temporary or permanent insanity in its wake.  Men of wealth and power, including heads of State, act upon the credo that “to the victor go the spoils.”  But men in lower economic strata are just as guilty as their more fortunate brethren of sticking their … noses … where they don’t belong.  So why do they do it?  Why risk everything for instant gratification?

Obviously, physical attraction plays a role in a man’s infidelity.  Loneliness and unhappiness with one’s current mate are also contributing factors.  But the fallout is profound, for women are equipped with radar far keener than ours.  Just ask any teenager who, from hard experience, knows that his mother has eyes in the back of her head.  Women never fail to read the warning signs of a cheater.  These are not limited to excuses for not showing up on holidays or other special occasions, a sudden inclination to work out at the gym, or the urge to touch up their grays with Just for Men.

Once nailed, married players can lose their wives, their children, and depending upon which States they call home, their property.  On top of this comes the legal necessity to shell out alimony and child support.  Single men who step out risk losing their original partners and compromising their new (cheating) relationships.   But not even these potentialities stop them from sleeping around.

While the most intelligent minds of our society have failed to uncover the reason that men cheat, a fictional character in the movie Moonstruck may have provided the answer.  In the film, Mrs. Castorini, played by Olympia Dukakis, asked  Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello) why men need more than one woman.  Johnny explained, “When God made woman, he took a rib from Adam and made Eve.  That left a big hole where that rib was, and man would never feel complete until he got it back.”  Mrs. Castori then asked, “Why then, would a man need more than one woman?”  His response was “I don’t know.  Maybe it’s because he fears death.”  She cracked, “That’s it?  Thank you for answering my question!”

Although Dukakis’ character was frustrated by this answer, Aiello’s character may have hit upon the underlying cause of male fidelity.  If men are afraid of dying, they want to leave something behind them, something that is truly theirs.  And nothing says “truly theirs” as much as a child.  So if one child fits the bill, imagine the benefits of multiple children.   Since women usually carry one child at a time, the wider the farmland, so to speak, in which a man sows his oats, the more children he’s likely to produce.  They may not carry his name, but they will carry his genes: that which makes him unique.   So.  Is it fear, after all, or is it ego that compels us to cheat?

And if it is fear or ego that drives men, what does this say about women?

Does it suggest that women are stronger than us, emotionally stronger?  I think it does.  Women carry, birth, and for the most part, rear the babies; no small feat.  If the ladies do their job well, the babies grow up to propagate our species.  Therefore, as in the animal kingdom, females have to be stronger, faster, and smarter than males.  Our very survival depends upon this.

If women are stronger, faster, and smarter than we are, why do they put up with us at all?   Are they, in the final analysis, just baby-making machines?  And is this why we cheat: to search for some meaning to our lives beyond our biology?  If man is the most intelligent creature on the planet, why do we emulate the hamster on the ever-spinning wheel?  Why do we run in place, make the same mistakes over and over again, and alienate the most beautiful and desirable thing that God ever created: woman? 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”  As was the period depicted in Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, 2009 was a time of tremendous highs and precipitous lows.  The year witnessed the inauguration of the first U.S. President of African-American ancestry and the nomination and confirmation of our first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.  Yet, rising unemployment belied the reports of an economy rebounding from the brink of collapse, and investigative reporting revealed the extent to which Federal bailout funds were misspent.

 

So, who were the biggest winners and losers of 2009?  What follows is my own personal assessment.  If you have thoughts on the subject, feel free to share them by commenting below.

 

The Winners

 

The year began on an upbeat note as Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger guided his disabled Airbus A320 into the Hudson River in a crash-less landing that saved all 155 onboard and was dubbed the “Miracle on the Hudson.” 

 The professionalism of Captain Sullenberger, a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy and consummate pilot with more than 40 years experience, makes him one of 2009’s biggest winners.

 

Days after the “Miracle on the Hudson,” Barack Obama was sworn in as our 44^th President and the first African-American to hold the Office.  Obama, however, was a winner in more than politics.

Shortly after his inauguration, it was announced that he had been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.  In October, it became official as he became the 21^st American to win that distinction.  Despite sagging poll numbers as the year comes to a conclusion, one has to number our President as a winner in 2009.

 

Following Barack Obama’s inauguration, Hillary Clinton was sworn in as the 67^th Secretary of State in U.S. history.  If you believe the rumors of the time, Hillary’s selection to head the State Department by our President-Elect was made under duress. 

 

Nonetheless, Hillary has proven to be a very capable diplomat and an effective representative for our government among foreign heads of state and other leaders.  Kudos to Mrs. Clinton as a winner in 2009.

 

In June of this year, after many delays, television broadcasting completed its transition to digital signals.  For the many millions of households still using older televisions capable of interpreting only analog signals, that meant that they now needed a box to decode the signal.

And so, 2009 was a fantastic year for cable, satellite, and other providers of television programming.

 

2009 also turned into a good year for former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.  In early July, she announced that she was resigning her post as Governor of Alaska and shortly thereafter, commenced a nationwide tour promoting her book, “Going Rogue,” that debuted atop the New York Times Best Sellers List in November.

Palin has been enthusiastically received by large throngs at tour events.  The book’s sales and media frenzy surrounding the tour are indicative of her popularity and bode well for her possible Presidential aspirations in 2012.  And so, Sarah Palin has made it among my short list of winners for 2009.

 

The Losers

 

It seems that every year is a bad year for Congress and 2009 was no exception.  The American public today holds Congress – both the House of Representatives and the Senate – in slightly lower esteem than it holds used car salesmen.

The bailout bill (or more euphemistically, stimulus package), the debate over healthcare, and the general rancor and divisiveness of its proceedings has citizens across the political spectrum from progressives to neo-conservatives questioning the motives and ethics of Congressional actions.  And, as the leaders of the majority party in both Houses, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have become the poster-children for political ineptness (although I personally think Harry did a better job than Nancy).  In any event, Congress is on my short list of losers for 2009.

 

And, if Congress is a loser, guess who is not far behind?  That’s right:  the American people.  Rising taxes and fees, shrinking resources, high unemployment, reduced government services, expanding debt, and fewer opportunities to get ahead all blended together in a cacophony that overwhelmed any happy tunes that most average Americans might have been singing.

Like Congress, the American people may be losers for years to come as inflation, rising interest rates, and a plethora of other potential problems await us as the other shoe dropping as a result of our bailout spending spree.

 

As our economic woes continued in 2009, it is only fitting to include Bernie Madoff as one of the year’s most significant losers.  Madoff, former chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange, admitted to operating a Ponzi scheme dubbed “the largest investment fraud in Wall Street history.”  The scam accounted for about $36 billion, of which about half or $18 billion (with a “b”) is “missing.” 

On March 12, 2009, Madoff pleaded guilty to 11 federal offenses, including securities fraud, wire fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, making false statements, perjury, theft from an employee benefit plan, and making false filings with the SEC.  Sentenced to 150 years in federal prison, Madoff has traded his opulent Manhattan lifestyle for a bright orange jumpsuit, a cell, and three squares courtesy of the American taxpayer.

 

Madoff is not the only of 2009’s losers whose liberty has been curtailed.  Acclaimed film director Roman Polanski may finally be extradited to the United States to face sentencing for a three-decade old child sex crime from which sentencing he fled following his conviction in 1978.  A dual-citizen of France and Poland, Polanski has hidden behind France’s denial of American extradition requests since that time.

In September 2009, however, he was arrested in Switzerland as he attempted to enter that country to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Zurich Film Festival.  He has been placed under house arrest at his luxurious ski chalet in Gstaad as Swiss authorities process his extradition to the United States.

 

Sexual indiscretions, rather than crimes, were the Achilles’ heel of 2009’s biggest loser, Tiger Woods.  Woods’ extramarital affairs with upwards of 14 different women surpassed chatter about the Holidays at water coolers, diners, and gatherings across America and the world.

Arguably the greatest golfer in the history of the sport, Woods has lost his wife, Elin Nordegren who battered him with a golf club, and is now bleeding money in the form of sponsors bailing on the once-revered athlete.  AT&T, Accenture, and Gillette have all dropped Woods or pulled advertising featuring him.  And, it has been reported that companies sponsoring Woods have lost a total of $12 billion in share value since the news of Woods’ affairs has been made public.  Who ever said that love was “free?”