In days of old,

When knights were bold

And toilet paper wasn’t invented,

They wiped their ass

With a blade of grass

And walked away contented.

Do you remember this bit of “poetry” from your childhood?  As silly as it was, it was also oh so true.  And as silly or antiquated as this may sound, this is also true: our society and its very perspectives have changed with the invention of the computer.  Now, through the miracle of technology, it’s time to change them again, with the help of the trusty computer.

The original computer, an electronic monster known as Bizmac, used vacuum tubes to transfer information.  That information was encoded in a language called Boolean, named for the English mathematician George Boole (1815-1864). Boole’s research culminated in a branch of mathematics that came to be known as Boolean algebra; his work also provided the foundation upon which the world’s first computer was configured.

Bizmac, the forerunner of the mainframe computer, had many drawbacks.  Chief among these were the life expectancy of the vacuum tube and the time that the electrons needed to transition from cathode to anode.  That span of time limited the frequency in hertz.  The idea behind the computer, however, was sound.  Subsequent production and use of transistors, and later, printed circuits resolved Bismac’s original issues and ushered in the true Computer Age, heralded by the mainframe.

The mainframe computer was massive.  Banks of memory were required to store information, and these banks often filled entire rooms large enough to accommodate a single computer!  Peripheral equipment, including card readers and printers, were also necessary for the mainframe’s operation, as was air conditioning.  A cool environment was vital to the optimal functioning of the mainframe, which worked primarily on the basis of Boole’s mathematics.

The banking industry saw and capitalized upon the benefits of the mainframe computer. As they say, time is money.  And so, the computer improved in efficiency and productivity, thereby improving the efficiency and productivity of the banks’ … and later, other businesses’ operations.

In the following years, electronics would take giant steps in miniaturization, speed, and diversity.  One day, a smart guy named Bill Gates introduced the world to the PC (personal computer), thus elevating the computer’s operability and access to everyday users.  Gates and his competitors then worked diligently to bring every computer to the state of planned obsolescence.  In other words, every few years, Gates and his cronies would build a better mousetrap: faster software with more features and more reliable hardware on which to run it.

There is no doubt that the invention of the PC has changed our world with resources never before known to mankind.  Today, the computer market depends on speed, accuracy, and unlimited storage of files that can be available at the click of a mouse.  Like a magic carpet, the Internet takes us around the world at speeds of light, and we don’t even have to move from our desks to take that trip!

Considering how far Information Technology has come from the birth of Bismac, whatever tomorrow holds will be astonishing. For instance, why not take advantage of this valuable tool to run our government according to the Constitution written by our founding fathers?  The tenets composed by the Constitution’s drafters can be entered into the program.  By mathematical rules (Yes or No) and without the need for Supreme Court intervention, taxpayers can be spared a lot of time and money stemming from the indecision and manipulation of our legislators.  Lobbying will become extinct, because you cannot pay off a machine!

Safeguards can be installed: what a computer geek would call “security devices.”  These would include the means to balance the budget in a timely manner.  With this system, it would be just like, “Gort, Klaatu barada nikto!” from the 1951 sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still.  Foreign Aide could be set up to benefit only friendly nations.  Just think. We wouldn’t have to pay people to hate us!

With a Yes or No government, we could save trillions of dollars.  The savings could be given to the populace to spend, thus increasing sales and jobs to stimulate a speedy economic recovery.  But, we also must secure our borders, because once the world finds out we’re giving money to citizens only, the overrunning of the Mexican border will peter off to a trickle as foreigners bang down our doors in hot pursuit of citizenship.

Once we get the government straightened out and functioning as well as our PCs, there will be no need for legislators or Presidents to feed off the country.  As Jesus foretold in the Beatitudes, “The meek shall inherit the earth.”  I say Amen to that!