Categorized | Featured Story, Thoughts & Inspiration

Tags : Quintus Ennius, a friend in need is a friend indeed, black sheep, black sheep of the family, fair weather friend, meaning of friendship, social death, social outcast, social pariah, true friend

Fair Weather

Posted on 18 November 2010


72 degrees and a cloudless, deep blue sky is a recipe for a beautiful day.  And, I believe that almost everyone would enjoy and attempt to make the most of just such a day – whether their diversions be barbecuing, picnicking, hiking, boating, participating in a sporting activity, or just relaxing.  It’s easy and natural to feel good and delight in whatever one does on this perfect type of day.


Effortless also is our inclination to revel in success, our own and also that of those about whom we care.  In fact, successful people always seem to have a coterie of well-wishers and admirers surrounding them.  No favor is too big nor task too large nor accommodation too peculiar to be provided for their benefit.  But, what can be said of the plight of those not successful; in particular, those whose problems or illnesses cast them outside of the social mainstream?


How often have we witnessed the plight of the proverbial “black sheep” or social pariah.  Such unfortunate individuals appear to be a part of most groups, organizations, and families.  Cast aside by those closest to them, they experience a form of social death.  Whether deserved or undeserved, gossip, speculation, rumor, and innuendo about such individuals abound.  At gatherings, false smiles and civility greet them while furtive glances and hushed tones belie the thoughts and conversations of those around them.


The psychological impact of the isolation by family, friends, and others upon whom these individuals have come to rely is incalculable.  And, the reason, I believe, for such isolation rests with the egos of those who may have formerly have been considered supporters.  Whether driven by jealousy, embarrassment, or fear, those formerly providing support now dissociate because their primary concern is how they will be perceived by others.  Fleeing the purported stigma of the “pariah,” they demonstrate their own weakness and insecurity.


During the pre-Christian period of the Roman Republic, Quintus Ennius, considered the father of Roman poetry, wrote that “a sure friend is known in difficulty” to express the fact that one realizes his true friends and family when in the midst of dire need.  In English, this is often expressed as “a friend in need is a friend indeed.”


Conversely, if you want to be a “true” friend, cultivate the loyalty, character, and courage you will require to unreservedly provide assistance and support to those in need, regardless of your personal assessment of their situations and the opinions of others.  A person of substance and integrity does not require “fair weather” to be a friend. 





This post was written by:

- who has written 408 posts on Write On New Jersey.


3 Responses to “Fair Weather”

  1. Dana Swayze says:

    This was a good article; nobody stands up for the downtrodden any more.

    However, I must point out that some people are hoist by their own petard. For example, a close family member of mine has, by her selfish, nasty personality, isolated herself from every other family member as well as every single one of her friends. She was actually invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with the rest of us this year — as she is every year, despite her rotten attitude (we are Christians) — but she has chosen to stay alone in her dumpy apartment, eating take out. No one did to her but herself.

  2. Joe S. says:

    When I was a kid, I had a second, older cousin who was “disturbed”. By that, I mean clinically … whatever; he just wasn’t right in the head. In those days, people like this were placed into institutions but my poor aunt did not have the heart to do that. My cousin happened to live a block and a half from me. I never made fun of him and I never even told anyone we were related, but he scared the heck out of me. He’d wander the streets, talking to himself, screaming, laughing, etc. The neighborhood called him The Mad Man of _______ Avenue.

    One day my best friend, who was a sweet kid, saw my cousin and laughed himself silly over the “Madman”. I was so mortified, I never told my best friend that I was related to this poor soul. I never told anyone.

    I’d like to say that now that I have grown up, I would act better. Kinder, maybe, to my cousin. Then again, someone like him would probably scare the heck out of me, so I’m not sure how I’d act. He truly frightened me. Maybe it’s not social shunning in some cases; maybe it’s just a case of survival.

  3. Celina Banks says:

    I’m eхtremely impгessed with your writing.


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